A Psychoapth Involved in a Jewelery Heist

Tonight I went out for dinner with my dad. His girlfriend was in the Hamptons, so we went out by ourselves. He picked me up at my apartment, and we found a parking space outside Josies, an organic restaurant. Recently while withdrawing from Serotonin (I had lowered my Celexa to poor effect--now going back from 5 to 10), I had called him up hysterical, saying that I wanted to spend more time with him. I always do this during a Serotonin withdrawal. It's absolutely bizarre. Anyway, he rose to the occasion, telling me that he looked forward to our date all day. That made me feel good, even though one of the things I had yelled to him on the phone was, "I want you to tell me that you miss me and want to see me!" His comment seemed genuine, though. He told me that he was tired because he had to go to court because another man with his name who lives near him has been using his identity. I asked who this man was, and he said, "A psychopath involved in a jewelery heist." Like me, my dad is an anxious person, and I'm sure this is the last thing he needs. Later in the conversation he told me about his supervision/ therapy, and then said, "I think everyone should be in therapy all the time for their whole life." A literal wave of anxiety washed over me. I'm not handling life correctly... He ordered a salad with grilled free-range chicken. I ordered the seitan and greens (can't get better than that). Afterwards, he filled out the comment card and wrote, "Great salad with chicken." This is what he orders everywhere (no judgment). As we walked to the car, he said, "I loved that restaurant but we'll probably never get a parking space again." It was a very New York comment and also a very anxious comment, and that's all I have to say.

My first time at the Apollo

Saturday nite I went to see a performance by Margaret Cho (www.margaretcho.com, great web site) entitled "State of Emergency." She has had four shows that I am aware of, the last one being "Revolution." She performed at the Apollo in Harlem. I had never been to the Apollo, a famous theater, before. It is a huge theater and her 7pm show had sold out and the 10 pm show that had been added on was also completely full. My posse and I had to walk up four long flights of steps. In fact the seats were so high up that it made my slight fear of heights kick in. Thank goodness I brought my glasses because she was sooo far away, so tiny. Her routine was good, addressing gay marriage, the presidency, and issues with parents (all important topics). It was great to be with a lot of queer folks, I mean A LOT, listening to an alternative comedian. How did she get to be so popular? Good for her, but how does anyone get to be so popular? Just wondering.

Find Your Spot

Thanks to Melaina, I checked out the site Find Your Spot. It gives you a quiz to determine the cities most compatible for your lifestyle. Sixteen of my cities were also on Melaina's list including:

Honolulu, Hawaii
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Natchitoches, Louisiana
Baltimore, Maryland
Orange County, California
New Orleans, Lousiana
Alexandria, Louisiana
Las Vegas, Nevada
Portland, Oregon
Hartford, Connecticut
Sacramento, California
Providence, Rhode Island
New Haven, Connecticut
Henderson, Nevada
Little Rock, Arkansas

Melaian and I must be friends because of our sad fate to be ideal for living in Natchitoches. My eight other cities (all my own) were:

San Francisco
LA
San Diego
Worcester (Mass)
Cape Cod
El Cajon (Cali)
Washington (District of Columbia)
San Jose (Cali)

Of my list, I like:

San Francisco
Cape Cod
Portland
Honolulu
Boston
New Orleans

Did they not give me NYC just to make me crazy???

There But for the Grace of Gawd Go I...

This morning I got onto the express train to go to work, and I sat down on the bench seat closest to the door. Suddenly I heard terrified screaming and turned my head to see that a woman had stepped one foot onto the train but the other leg had shot fully down into the gap between the track waiting platform and the subway floor. The train was about to leave the station the moment before she'd attempted to get on, so she was screaming the way one would when there's a chance one's leg is about to get chopped off. It reminded me of the time I heard a dog screaming/crying right after it was hit by a car. To add to the horror, she was desperately trying to pull her leg out but the position she was in made it impossible. A man on the platform yelled out, "He knows you're there!" That was probably the most comforting thing she could have heard. Then a few men pulled her up and she stayed on the floor panting. Of course this all happened within seconds, frozen seconds. The subway staff ushered everyone else onto a local train across the platform. As the local train made its stops I looked at that leg sized gap between the platform and the subway floor and thought, "I better make sure to look down every time I get on or off a train."

Tree Hugger

Tonight Jan cooked dinner for David and me. It was a rainy day and night, and it was so nice to come from work and have good, home cooked food. David and I both commented that we had smelled delicious cooking as we came up the narrow staircase and had hoped it was Jan cooking. He had attempted to make my favorite Ethiopian dish, candied greens and carrots. It came out excellent and was accompanied by baked beans, salad, and a potato and onion dish. While Jan had been finishing with the cooking, I had showed David some pictures of himself from his youth. One showed him hugging a palm tree with great passion and joy. David laughed when he saw the tree hugging shot and told me that Jan had taken a very similar picture of him with a different type of tree out west (The two recently returned from a trip around Seattle). After dinner, I shared the pictures with Jan and let him keep the picture of David hugging the tree because he thought it was so cute. Then Jan showed me a slide show of their trip out west. Again David was hugging a tree with wild abandon! Unfortunately Jan and I teased him a little about being a tree hugger and he got a bit irritable with us. Jan and I played around with the computer afer the slide show, and David took a rest. Then Jan called David back into the living room and asked if we wanted to hear Howard Stern talking about therapy from his show this morning. We listened, while eating some rasberry fudge and some pineapple for dessert. They also gave me the brunette and blond hairpieces they wore when surprising my mom in Ohio for her sixtieth birthday last weekend. My mom had said, "I thought to myself that it looked like them but the hair was different..."

The Sold-Out Line

Friday night I called my gay, middle-aged friend Mark and told him about a double feature of All About Eve and Sunset Boulevard playing at the Thalia. We love black and white, old, campy classics. I asked if he would like to go to one of the movies. "One!" he said, "That would be crazy. We'll see both." I calculated that this would mean over four hours in the movie theater but agreed. The next day he called me and told me that a couple with whom he is friends would be taking him to a show so we could only see Sunset Boulevard. I told him that I would pick up the tickets ahead. "Don't forget," he admonished. "Remember what happened with Mommie Dearest..." It had sold out. Well, the day went by (see my swim blog), and I found that I had not picked up tickets for the movie. Mark called me on his cell and said, "I'm almost at the Thalia." I said matter-of-factly, "Buy us some tickets, and I'll meet you there." He sighed as we hung up. When I arrived, I found him in line, and he said, "This is the sold-out line. We're waiting to see how many people don't return from the break after All About Eve, so we can take their spots." As if to show his annoyance at my not having pre-purchased the tickets, he added, "It's hot in this line." The next people to join the line, a group of four older adults, were dismayed to hear from me that they were in a sold-out line. "What?" the bearded man with glasses exclaimed. "Spiderman sells out, not Sunset Boulevard!" The woman with him shook her head and said, "We passed the Thalia all day. We didn't even think to get tickets!" Soon enough a worker informed us that there were twenty-three spots. The folks behind us decided to leave before finding out if they'd made the cut, lamenting that they wouldn't even be able to sit together due to the crowds. Mark said to the man with the beard, "You'll watch your copy at home. It'll be nicer really." The man said, "I don't have a copy of Sunset Boulevard!" Mark was incredulous and began to lecture on the importance of this classic. If the group was ambivalent about whether or not to stay, this definitely pushed them out the door! Mark and I found seats in front, and as Mark looked at four empty seats in the front row he commented, "All the histrionics behind us in line and look at these great seats!" Once the movie started, our moods brightened. Mark cooed with delight during the classic lines. Afterwards, he engaged the couple next to us by sharing all the facts he knows about the film. They were excited by the information and followed us as we walked out of the theater. It was raining, but Mark is oblivious to things like rain, so despite my being the only one with an umbrella, he walked me home and we continued to chat outside my apartment, finishing off some Junior Mints in the process.

What to do when your garden explodes...

Today I took the twenty-minute bus ride to Jersey (Edgewater) to visit my friend Kathleen who I met when she worked as a managed care nurse. Kath has a beautiful house and a nice husband named Bram. We had fun catching up and eating wonderful veggie recipes she'd made, utilizing the the herbs and vegetables from her vast garden. She has a cookbook she showed me called, "What to do when your garden explodes." Not literally, of course, but with so much good food! Then Alice and I got together near my apartment. We had dinner at Ozu, a vegetarian restaurant, and then hung out at my apartment. We spent about an hour reading the DSM IV and the Synopsis of Psychiatry, analyzing ourselves as well as the plight of Vietnam Vets. Alice asked what I concluded about myself and I said, "Depression is clearly my Axis I, and for Axis II I have traits." I paused and then added, "I have traits from a cluster of personality disorders." She giggled and said, "I love when you say that!"

Opening Night

Tonight I saw the movie Open Water. It was sold out so I got a ticket for She Hate Me and actually went to Open Water. She Hate Me is the offensive Spike Lee movie so I was glad to use it to my advantage (playing right next to Open Water at the same time). I love going to movies by myself because I can come in at the last minute and still get a good seat. I sat next to two African American, gay men. That is why I love New York! One rested his head on the other's shoulder for the whole movie. Somehow having the two of them next to me reminded me of being with my two cats. The one leaning his head on the other's shoulder was a tiny guy who tucked his arms into his sleeves. Adorable! Behind me was a father and his teenage and young kids. The woman in the movie has a gratuitous naked shot and the young kids were like, "Nasty! Ewww!" The father was like, "Your mom's gonna kill me!" They talked during the movie and had their cell phone ring but the talking was quiet and sporadic, so no one seemed bothered (I wasn't). The comments were obvious: "A shark is coming" etc. After the movie I listened to people discuss the movie (another perk of attending alone). One man said, "It was a feel bad movie" and he sighed. I liked the movie a lot. The ending was particularly good. Shall I give it away? The woman is surrounded by sharks and so instead goes underwater and disappears, the implication being that she has drowned herself. The water is then still. The little girl behind me said excitedly at this point, "She's swimming back to shore!" The gay couple and I glanced at each other when she said this, and we giggled nervously.